Identity, Values and Strengths

Values and identity


My core values values come from my upbringing, such as always trying to be open-minded, kind and respectful, and my other values come from the work I’ve done on my mindset since leaving home.


I left home as soon as I could as I had an itch to experience living in a new place, so I moved from my small hometown to London for three years to study, and later moved to New Zealand. I gained a valuable sense of independence, which is an important part of my identity now. I am proud of the independence I have carved out for myself despite growing up with a distinct lack of it.


In addition, having a white English mum and an Indian dad, I feel that it would be very hard for me not to be open-minded. From a young age, I was exposed to culture that differed from the ‘norm’ in the UK, which I think automatically gave me the value that everyone should be treated fairly no matter who they are or where they are from.


Being kind, respectful and honest are the values I try to live by the most. There is always a kind and an unkind way to say something even if the content of what you’re saying is not particularly nice i.e. criticism that is constructive. Always be kind.


Strengths and limitations


My strengths are that I am reasonably self-aware and calm, so I know when I need to step away from something, take a breather, then go back to it if I am struggling to understand it. In terms of career development, I have a good work ethic, and great attention to detail so I like to make sure tasks are done as best as they possibly can. I am also empathetic, and want the best for others.


My limitations are that I struggle with confidence. I think I have inner-confidence, in the sense that I know everything will work out in the end, but I struggle to show confidence outwardly. Even if I may understand a concept, there will always be a nagging part of my brain that’s questioning whether I do actually understand the concept. I guess that can be described in a nutshell as imposter syndrome.


As for the strength that might aid me in my learning journey, I think being calm will help me when faced with bugs and errors and generally not knowing what’s going on! Being able to stay calm will allow me to think clearly and enable me to put together a plan for addressing the issue, rather than getting stressed out and panicking.


Ethical decisions


I’m not sure if this counts as an ethical decision, but deciding to move to the other side of the world was one in which I had to really consider the values and the other people I would be affecting by making that decision. Weighing up the downside of being away from my friends and family in the UK versus the various positives of moving to a beautiful country was difficult in one way, but also the easiest decision in another way. I think you always have a gut feeling about whether a decision is right or not, and in this case, I knew deep down moving to New Zealand was right for me. Always trust your intuition.


Dealing with resistance


An example of dealing with resistance is from my previous job. I managed a team of five people in a pretty demanding environment, so naturally we had to work productively and collaboratively with each other. At times where there was resistance or tension, I would try to take the time to understand why someone was feeling the way they were and resolve any tension before it became bigger than it needed to be – sometimes people just felt unheard and needed someone to listen to them.


At other times, due to the demanding nature of the job, I was unable to take the time to talk it through with them as if I did, we would miss the deadline. In these cases, I had to exercise my authority (which doesn’t come naturally to me) and tell them we can have a chat later, but right now I need you to do x, y and z. This was normally effective as they understood we had the common goal of getting the job done, and they still felt heard as I said we can chat later. I think my team also appreciated me being open and empathetic and they knew they could come to me if they had any issues.


I think now looking back, I would perhaps try approaching the situations of tension with more confidence, as sometimes I would hold back on saying what needed to be said in order to keep the peace and not ruffle feathers.


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